The world, my view

Isn't it amazing that each year, as it draws to a close, we reminisce and wax nostalgic about all the people we have loved this year. In this context, I am talking about people who have made a difference in our lives and who we have allowed to enter into our lives. This love encompasses a wide variety of subtleties, from romantic and passionate to warm, life affirming, to a hug you while you are hurting type of love.

I have many people who I am grateful for as I review this year. There are my friends who have held me while I have cried over lost love, they have been my strength while I had none. There are my friends who do not judge, and I learn from them the ability to allow everyone their beliefs and their foibles. Then, my friends who work for social injustice, in its many forms, who make me a better citizen and a better custodian of our community, I watch them in their passion and I can believe that one voice makes a difference. They stand against intolerance and for justice. What about my friends that I play with, just spend the moment with and we laugh and we drink and we just enjoy the fleeting moment that we have etched out of our lives to spend together.

Also in the group is the people who have made me cry, whether that be in a mean spirited way or just from an emotional connection, a seeing into the spiritual. They have molded my journey this year, they have made me dig into my heart and cultivate the spring of tears. It is this harvest that I know that I am alive, that I am living a beautiful life and that I exist as a feeling person, not a robot going through the motions.

One of my greatest thanks is for my ex. That sounds funny doesn't it? It isn't. The gifts that I have recieved from our relationship I will carry with me forever and the wounds that I recieved I will heal from shortly and I will be a better partner. I now have words for my uncomfort, I now have definitions of my feelings that before did not have a form. They took the time to help me uncover them, to define them and to have them lead me to here, this moment. It was a brave step we took when we looked each other in the eyes and said I love you enough to free you from us. From having expectations, to having to perform, to having to dance to the tune I need to hear. We are both free to fly and feel the wind on our faces. We no longer tie each other down in a relationship depression. I am doing things and losing weight, where I think I wore the weight as a defence from the pain. I see the person is happier and I am happier, even though I miss the closeness, sometimes people just don't know how to be close.

This was a year of gifts from special people, I can only hope that I am as lucky in the year to come.