The World and my focus

I am still working on myself as I go through the Workbook of the Celestine Prophecy. I am currently working on my "Past Pre-occupations" and how they have affected my life and my underlying beliefs. My buzz words have been self criticism, fear of others, and approval of others. I have always needed the approval of others in all that I did, as I did not realize that I really only needed to believe in myself, as I was the one who mattered.

This approval was from my childhood, my parents as they were my world, then on to the religious affiliation that I was raised in, everyone was always watching and looking, making sure that we lived the life we expounded, then in school, wanting to be cool and part of the in crowd, then on to work, trying to impress the boss and the boss's boss.

My fear of others was from society, I learned young that it could turn on you in a dime. I remember watching my father lose his job, poof, just like that! He came so low and discouraged and I remember, I was about 7 at the time, how mean the world was, my dad was a hero and he lost his career. That means he also lost the family vehicle as it was a company car, he had to call my mom to come and pick him up.

It is funny, we now talk about synchronicity and reciprocity and I think that I have always been aware of these principles and learned them young as well. There was someone in our church who had an older car and she sold it to my dad for $1 dollar, so we had something to drive. She had always saved this car as it was the car someone had given her for $1, she just passed it on.

I am going to work on the following questions:

1. I'd like to change...
2. I'd like more...
3. I keep thinking...
4. In six months I'd like...
5. The most Important thing in my life right now...
6. The qualities I admire most...
7. I'd be happy if...

I am also going to ask myself a very important question that I talked about earlier in one of my posts, Am I going through the motions right now in my life in some aspect? I need to really be honest and answer this question. If I do address this "coasting" then I will be able to open more awareness, more opportunities and insights.

Now I told you what my old words were...my new words are acknowledgement of strengths, self-trust, love. I work on the replacement words everyday, I carry them inside and play them louder than the old words. I drive in the car and I say them, I feel them deep in my soul. I do this AS IF...everyday isn't a winner for me, but how each day starts and ends is mine. Do I wake up excited for the day, asking for a sign? Yes! Do I go to sleep and count how I was blessed today? Yes! I give myself permission to change.

I have been doing meditations working on my heart and my forgiveness "muscle". I am using Constance Denby's Heart Meditations to open up my heart and expand. I would recommend it as a starting place. There are many excellent ones in the market. Dean and Dudley also have excellent music to meditate by. I never knew the power of meditations until I started and now, I can't imagine not meditating as a way to hear the silence within. That is where our inspiration comes from, our creativity, our passion about our lives. Try it, listen for the silence!