The world of tomorrow

Did you ever think that you help create the life you lead, whether it is good or bad? That is truly an eye opening thought, one that takes me a moment to get my mind wrapped around. How do I create my mother's health problems, my sister's health issues, my job frustrations (ok, that one might be easy to see!), but I am trying to see how I impact those people lives to see where it is in my life and what I come around to is that that isn't what I create, i create the way I choose to respond to it.

This growing up to be a mature human, is not very easy. I know no one ever said it was, but it seems that once you think you start to have the answers, life throws you a punch that makes you wonder.

I leave to go to CA for my friend, she had surgery on her shoulder, it was blown out bad, she had 7 different breaks in the shoulder ball joint. She should be able to start physical therapy in 2 weeks, which is great news. We were devastated with her prognosis as she was going to start a new job in two weeks. I am hoping and sending my most positive thoughts to her "new" bosses that they hold the job for her.

Meditation is an incredible journey. I have been playing music and meditating and I see changes within. I think more before I react, I pause before the chaos gets too out of control, I listen in the din of living. Hopefully, the mediation leads me to a place that is quiet all the time, without all the fussiness of Real World.

I have a teacher who says that you should write every day as a way to let go and to start forgiveness. She believes in starting a journal and finishing it and then NEVER reading it as it is all the past and does not have any impact in the here and now. I believe that to be true. If I write about someone because they have adversely affected my life, why shouldn't I just write out how I feel and then move on?

I am glad to be taking a moment for myself in the next few days, even if I am caring for someone, it is a gift that I gave myself. I know she would never ask me to help her, as that is her way, but I also know that I want to be there. It is someplace to give and receive, almost like going home!